KILL ME
KILL ME
18” x 24” Acrylic on wood panel
A defeated stupor too empty to stand up straight but too fearful to meet the end, the despondent begs for God to intervene.
Inspired by Cane Hill’s song of the same name, KILL ME lives in this moment of hopelessness and defeat. It’s that feeling where you’re just so, so tired of everything going the way it has, but you’re lucid enough to know that taking yourself away is the wrong choice.
I found myself muttering this phrase daily. Maybe it didn’t mean literally “kill me”, rather the sentiment was that I wanted ANYTHING to go right, but it felt like nothing was possible. The only thing that felt like it could alleviate the pain was to not exist. I often told my therapist that I don’t want to end my life, but I did wish I was never born.
If you’ve struggled with severe depression you know the feeling. It’s like nothing could possibly get better, and in that moment, you really truly believe there is no such thing as joy or peace. I still feel this way a lot of the time. But we both know that’s simply untrue. The only way out of this feeling is with brute force and pure grit. You just have to suffer for as long as it takes until things start to look up. They always do. There is always a solution, no matter how long it takes or how brutal it is.
My body of work “IN THE THROES OF SORROW” chronicles instances and feelings I battled while in one of the deepest depressions of my life in 2022. Each piece presents a very real feeling I struggled with during this time and serves as an outlet for something many of us go through in our lives. It’s a story of pain and struggle, and I’m putting it forth as a means to say you are not alone in your darkest hours. We often feel like nobody could possibly understand what we’re feeling. This collection of paintings is to say I do, and you are valid. You are heard.
KILL ME
18” x 24” Acrylic on wood panel
A defeated stupor too empty to stand up straight but too fearful to meet the end, the despondent begs for God to intervene.
Inspired by Cane Hill’s song of the same name, KILL ME lives in this moment of hopelessness and defeat. It’s that feeling where you’re just so, so tired of everything going the way it has, but you’re lucid enough to know that taking yourself away is the wrong choice.
I found myself muttering this phrase daily. Maybe it didn’t mean literally “kill me”, rather the sentiment was that I wanted ANYTHING to go right, but it felt like nothing was possible. The only thing that felt like it could alleviate the pain was to not exist. I often told my therapist that I don’t want to end my life, but I did wish I was never born.
If you’ve struggled with severe depression you know the feeling. It’s like nothing could possibly get better, and in that moment, you really truly believe there is no such thing as joy or peace. I still feel this way a lot of the time. But we both know that’s simply untrue. The only way out of this feeling is with brute force and pure grit. You just have to suffer for as long as it takes until things start to look up. They always do. There is always a solution, no matter how long it takes or how brutal it is.
My body of work “IN THE THROES OF SORROW” chronicles instances and feelings I battled while in one of the deepest depressions of my life in 2022. Each piece presents a very real feeling I struggled with during this time and serves as an outlet for something many of us go through in our lives. It’s a story of pain and struggle, and I’m putting it forth as a means to say you are not alone in your darkest hours. We often feel like nobody could possibly understand what we’re feeling. This collection of paintings is to say I do, and you are valid. You are heard.
KILL ME
18” x 24” Acrylic on wood panel
A defeated stupor too empty to stand up straight but too fearful to meet the end, the despondent begs for God to intervene.
Inspired by Cane Hill’s song of the same name, KILL ME lives in this moment of hopelessness and defeat. It’s that feeling where you’re just so, so tired of everything going the way it has, but you’re lucid enough to know that taking yourself away is the wrong choice.
I found myself muttering this phrase daily. Maybe it didn’t mean literally “kill me”, rather the sentiment was that I wanted ANYTHING to go right, but it felt like nothing was possible. The only thing that felt like it could alleviate the pain was to not exist. I often told my therapist that I don’t want to end my life, but I did wish I was never born.
If you’ve struggled with severe depression you know the feeling. It’s like nothing could possibly get better, and in that moment, you really truly believe there is no such thing as joy or peace. I still feel this way a lot of the time. But we both know that’s simply untrue. The only way out of this feeling is with brute force and pure grit. You just have to suffer for as long as it takes until things start to look up. They always do. There is always a solution, no matter how long it takes or how brutal it is.
My body of work “IN THE THROES OF SORROW” chronicles instances and feelings I battled while in one of the deepest depressions of my life in 2022. Each piece presents a very real feeling I struggled with during this time and serves as an outlet for something many of us go through in our lives. It’s a story of pain and struggle, and I’m putting it forth as a means to say you are not alone in your darkest hours. We often feel like nobody could possibly understand what we’re feeling. This collection of paintings is to say I do, and you are valid. You are heard.